6.09.2016

Thoughts

My morning is feeling a little out of control. Our bed got peed in last night. Nixon won't sleep unless he's with me, and his diaper leaked. So it not only leaked on the bed, but on me too. What's even worse is I can't do any laundry because the washer recently broke... again, for the third time! 
The kids are fighting and whining. The house is a disaster because I can't finish any projects that I start. And lots of projects are being started. 
Nixon won't nap unless he's in my arms... or in his car seat but we're trying to keep him out of his car seat because he has plagiocephaly (a flat head). 
I have lots of videos to make and I'm behind on blogging. The trashes are full and need to be emptied. Luckily I got the dishwasher unloaded and loaded this morning. And the kids are in the bathtub now while I'm nursing and thinking about how I kind of hate giving baths. It takes so much work to get them in, washed, out, lotion-ed up, and dressed. 
I feel like I'm constantly nursing or being used as a pacifier. 
I didn't wake up early enough to go to the gym this morning so I'm not going to exercise today because it's too hard to exercise with three kids and all their needs. Which is why I have so many partiality started and uncompleted projects laying around the house. I've noticed I have less patience when I don't have a chance to exercise. 
I woke up feeling tired, not refreshed. It's ten a.m. and I need to shower and wash my hair. It's been four days since I washed my hair. At least I insist on a shower every day, or at most, every other day. 
I've been doing laundry by hand and I'm already tired of it and its only been a few days. 
We need to sell one of our three cars and put insurance on our new van. I'm dreading doing both. 
I'm feeling like I'm online shopping too much and accumulating too many things after I recently purged. 
I really want to be skinny, like 20-25 pounds skinnier, and I want my mommy pouch to disappear. If i had money to spare I'd freeze off the fat there or get a tummy tuck. And then I'd buy a new desktop.
Just today I remembered that I needed to restock the wipes in my diaper bag. And I actually felt defeated. Little things that occur over and over again can sometimes feel overwhelming. 

After I wrote this all in my phone, I took a shower and washed my hair. I let Nixon cry it out while I blew dry my hair and he finally fell asleep... without me! I got the girls ready. Paid a few bills. Finished a little video of Molly's preschool graduation I was working on. I'll soon be lunchtime and I'll head down to make us something to eat.

Sometimes it's hard to appreciate the good days without the bad. I think tomorrow will be better :)

2 comments:

  1. I can totally relate. I was emotional last night- being a mom comes with some rough days. Hang in there, you are amazing!

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  2. I have days like this too! And you're right. It's good to recognize the hard days because without them, the good days wouldn't be so good. Raising a bunch of little people is not an easy task.

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